What am I doing wroooooong DX

I swear I just HATEE my drawing "Skills" X'D

Like, seriously ;v; They're just never consistent or working with me. I've noticed that I produce the absolute best drawings (In terms of anatomy mainly) whenever I'm VERY inspired and motivated to draw a certain idea. Like, a LOT. Other times, if I'm not feeling THAT up to drawing something... The style and overall quality drops, and I'm just not satisfied x.x One day I'll SOMEHOW create an awesome drawing with anatomy so perfect i don't even understand how I did it... The next I'll make something decent, but not good enough. And other days I'll just forget how to draw altogether :I

I've made a few journals like this, yes.. And it's cuz it's something that genuinely frustrates me to no end x.x I always wish I could just grab a pencil, and doodle whatever I want, and always get decent results, but more importantly, have fun. But the way things are.. I can only have fun and draw altogether when I have something big in mind to work on. I tackle every drawing as if it were it's own big project... Not as a hobby to entertain myself ;~;

And seriously, at times I just become so bad at doing the easiest poses that I always do. Like, I even forget how I do it and can't draw the shapes/proportions properly. I have the patience to spend over an hour drawing individual scales, buuut not to do a quick doodle. If I try drawing something that isn't going to turn into a full painting, I'll end up doing horribly because I lack the proper motivation, and just want to get something "good looking" done in a matter of minutes -w- Seriously, even my head hurts after a few attempts, when all I want is just to draw, sketch, doodle something quick, have fun. Not sit here, clueless, and frustrated because I can't draw anything that looks good x.x I just forget my skills completely every time I'm NOT working on something big. And this really sucks -.- Especially since I was just starting to get inspired to draw more again ;~;

TLDR; Literally can't draw at all unless all my motivation in life is centered on that task alone. Help  ;~;