Can't believe it's almost been a year since I announced my break.. And although I don't have such a large following here, I guess I felt like posting an update anyway.
I've been battling depression these past two months; Yeah, I know, I've been going on and about it for at least a few years now, but after a few months of my emotional state deteriorating to the point where I hardly felt like doing anything (and dreaded the idea of finding a job), I finally seeked professional help and have since been taking medication for my anxiety and depression, as well as going to monthly therapy sessions. It's helped, somewhat. At least I'm a little more active now; going on morning walks and finally applied for a job recently (I got rejected ;-; ). And although I feel more calm and a little optimistic, not a day goes by where my worries get to me.
Once more, summer approaches.. And it seems that I'll yet again miss out on college. And I've yet to even figure out what it is I want to study. The original plan of moving to Colorado with my sisters is beginning to seem unlikely, and I'm beginning to question whether leaving would be a good choice at all; with how costly education is in the States, the thought of a crippling debt scaring me. Given our financial position, I'm starting to realize just how limited my choices are. I'm not sure what to do. I'm often reminded to relax a little, as I'm only 19. But the pressure of being an adult and making choices and long-term plans is really weighing me down, especially as I see others moving on with their own hopes and dreams, all the while I feel lost.
This, along with a lot of other things is really discouraging me, and detracting my interest in anything. I haven't drawn in much. I began trying out 3D modelling but eventually lost interest as well.
I'm going through some really rough times. And I find I've kind of distanced myself from everyone, except my mom. Apologies to any friends whom might've felt neglected due to my silence.
As for art... Sometimes I long to get back to it. But despite my free time these past several months, my motivation remains dead. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up on it. Any brief spark in interest or idea that comes up in my mind quickly vanishes. I can never get anything done, or started even. So I'm afraid that this hiatus will continue, sadly.
I hope everyone that still watches me is doing alright though. And thanks for following me all these years. I mostly just lurk here and on Instagram